


Can't We Just Be Us?

by MirandaRoseOfSkywall (lostinmymindforever)



Category: Warcraft (2016)
Genre: F/M, Friends With Benefits, Idiots in Love, M/M, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-25 23:51:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7551985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinmymindforever/pseuds/MirandaRoseOfSkywall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They never spoke of it during the day, nor did they speak of it when it happened. It just was. You couldn’t call them lovers, that word held connotations that were not part of this thing they had between them. During the day they were friends on a good day, unwilling associates on bad days, but at night, at night in their tent or in one of their bedrooms, they were so much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't We Just Be Us?

**Author's Note:**

> No Fel in this story.  
> Lothar, Llane, and Medivh never went and attacked the trolls so they never came and attacked Stormwind (and killed Llane's father) so Llane is still Prince Llane Wrynn.  
> The Orcs still invaded (think the Iron Horde)  
> Garona is still Medivh's daughter (but her skin isn't green, it's the normal Orc color)

They never spoke of it during the day, nor did they speak of it when it happened. It just was. You couldn’t call them lovers, that word held connotations that were not part of this thing they had between them. During the day they were friends on a good day, unwilling associates on bad days, but at night, at night in their tent or in one of their bedrooms, they were so much more.

If Khadgar thought about it he really couldn’t tell you how it started, how it began. But then again, neither could Lothar. All either of them really knew was that night after night they shared each others bodies, that night after night Khadgar found himself face down into a pillow or his own robes, clenching his teeth to keep silent as Lothar fucked him hard. Each morning Khadgar woke with a dull ache in his ass and a sated feeling that lasted all through the day.

Sometimes, when things were calm, Khadgar would go out for the day, go for a walk, hit up a tavern or two and end up in bed with some pretty thing that caught his fancy, always female though, he never once took a male lover, even though he had gotten plenty of offers.

Lothar on the other hand spent his free time, that rare time he spent away from Khadgar, in darkened alleyways, his hand usually fisted into some young man’s hair as he watched his cock disappear between soft, masculine lips. He hadn’t taken a male lover in years, and yet now he couldn’t stop, but never once did he touch his partners other than to grab and pull at their hair.

Sometimes Lothar blamed Khadgar for his current behavior, blamed the young mage for making him feel these desires, this need, and those nights he was almost brutal when he took Khadgar, not bothering to make sure the mage was enjoying himself until just before he filled the younger man’s body with his seed.

It was an addiction. And Anduin Lothar knew if things didn’t change it would end up killing him.

Once more they were in the field, and Lothar was feeling that painful edge that he’d been so unable to reach. It was worse when he was away from the cities, worse when he had no source of relief in the constant hunger he felt. As soon as it was dark and his men were settling in around the fires Lothar grabbed Khadgar, pulling him into the tent they shared.

Khadgar had been expecting this really, expecting that this night would be one of the rough ones. And what sickened him the most is how much he wanted it that way. He knew Lothar had seen him earlier, when they had passed through a small village, staying only long enough for a quick meal, or in Khadgar’s case a quick fuck with a pretty young thing who had smiled so sweetly at him when they had arrived. He knew Lothar had seen him with that young woman, with her legs around his waist as he fucked her hard and fast against a wall. He always seemed to know when Lothar was watching one of his little trysts.

Lothar pushed Khadgar down onto the bundle of bedding they had thrown into the tent, hand holding the younger man down by the back of the neck as he almost ripped Khadgar’s pants down. He hated this as much as he wanted it, hated the overwhelming want that cocky little mage made him feel. Lothar knew what he had to do, he had to punish the mage.

Khadgar had been expecting it hard, rough, almost no consideration for his arousal, but this time Lothar ran his hands along Khadgar’s sides, under the shirts he still wore, slowly, almost tenderly even, and Khadgar shook his head violently, wanting to beg Lothar to stop, wanting to say anything, but he knew the rules of this, he knew he was to stay silent, that the wasn’t to say a word, so that Lothar could pretend he was someone else, someone he really wanted, and not a failure like himself.

“No what?” Lothar asked, the sound of his voice almost like a slap to Khadgar’s face. They never spoke, never, and now Lothar was changing the rules, now he was going against what he knew, what they both knew and Khadgar didn’t know what to think. “Answer me, Khadgar.”

And at Lothar’s use of his name Khadgar whimpered, he took a deep, ragged breath, chest heaving as he tried to understand what was happening here. But still he kept quiet. That didn’t seem to work though, and Khadgar found himself flipped onto his back, staring up into Lothar’s eyes. Again this was something that never happened, they never looked each other in the face when they came together like this.

“Answer me, Spell-chucker,” Lothar said, his voice a low and seductive growl.

“You’re not supposed to do it like this. You’re supposed to, to, to just use my body for your pleasure. You’re not supposed to be gentle, you’re not supposed to talk, you’re not supposed to look at me,” and there were tears now in Khadgar’s eyes. He couldn’t bare to look at Lothar right now, couldn’t bare to see whatever emotion those words would bring to the older man’s face, so he tightly closed his eyes, biting his lip, cursing himself for reacting like he did.

Lothar cupped his cheek, damn the man, and asked in a voice that said so much with so little said, “Why?”

“Because that’s not how this works. You fuck me, you use me, and then we both go on pretending it never happened until the next night when it happens all over again. That’s how it’s been for the last two years, Lothar.”

Lothar leaned close, his breath on Khadgar’s skin making goosebumps appear, “And what if I want more?”

Khadgar shuddered at that simple question. ‘More,’ more could mean a lot of things, things that terrified Khadgar to even think about. His voice sounded so young when he finally answered, “More?”

“You don’t know what you do to me, do you? I can hardly think when I’m around you, Khadgar. Every time I see you with someone else I want to push them away from you, claim you as mine. I get so jealous whenever I see someone else make you smile, make you laugh, make you close your eyes in pleasure. I want to be the person who does that. And I hate that I’m not, that all I have, all I’ll ever have is this,” it pained Khadgar to hear Lothar’s voice break on those last words.

Khadgar licked his lips nervously, not sure how to respond to Lothar’s confession. How had it come to this? How had things gotten so damn complicated? “Lothar,” he started, not knowing what to say, feeling so exposed, more so than just the half naked state he was in. Lothar snorted at that one word, and Khadgar saw hurt in his eyes. “Anduin, how am I supposed to know what you want, what this is if you won’t talk to me? This is the most in depth conversation we’ve had about personal things since before _this_ began. How am I supposed to know what’s going on in your head if you won’t tell me? I’m not… that is I’ve never… what is this, what are we?”

“I don’t know, Spell-chucker,” and the nickname was said in such a fond voice, one that Khadgar had grown to enjoy hearing, “we’re just us.”

“But that’s just it, Anduin. I need to know what we are, I can’t just… just change what I know without being able to call it something.”

“Can’t we just be us?”

Khadgar sighed, closing his eyes tightly once more. He loved the stupid idiot more than he’d like to admit but sometimes Anduin Lothar could be exasperating. His thoughts then hit him like a thousand bricks falling on his head. He loved Lothar, he was _in love_ with Lothar. How had he not realized that before? “I love you,” he whispered, feeling his throat tighten as he said the words. He needed to get out of the tent, needed to get fresh air.

“I love you too,” Lothar said quietly, still looking down at Khadgar. “Hey, it’s okay, we’re okay,” he said in a soothing voice, seeing that Khadgar was starting to panic. He climbed off of Khadgar’s body, helping the younger man pull his pants back up, but before the mage could make a run for it he wrapped his arms around him, pulling him down onto his lap.

“I need to… I can’t breathe… Please...”

“Shh, Khadgar, you’re fine. Breathe, that’s it, deep breaths.”

Khadgar felt himself slowly beginning to relax and found it easier to breathe. He closed his eyes, just letting himself try and relax in Lothar’s arms. It felt… nice, but nice wasn’t a good enough word to describe how Lothar made him feel right now. He felt safe, protected, loved, and that thought made him want to cry. Had it really been that long since anyone had shown him love?

His trysts didn’t count, they were nothing but mindless rutting, scratching an itch. But someone with him out of love? That had never happened before. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Lothar asked, resting his chin against Khadgar’s shoulder.

“Hurting you, making you jealous, not realizing how I felt sooner, all of the above?”

“It’s okay, Khadgar, it really is.”

They sat like that for some time, both of them silent, but it was a pleasant silence. Finally Khadgar spoke, “I still want… I mean, if you wanted to,” he shifted his hips slightly, the movement making his ass grind against Lothar’s crotch.

Lothar turned Khadgar’s face towards his own and kissed him, truly and honestly kissed him. It was funny, they’d been together so many times and yet they had never kissed before now. It had always been so impersonal, just about sex, both of them refusing to allow themselves to feel anything more than physical pleasure. And now? Now things are different.

Khadgar felt dizzy after the kiss ended, trying to catch his breath. His body thrummed with excitement, and yet it wasn’t just physical pleasure that ran through him. He turned, moving so he was fully facing Lothar, and found himself being kissed once more. He knew he’d get addicted to Lothar’s kisses if he let himself, and by the Light he wanted to. How had he never had this before, how had he been content with just the physical nature that their relationship had been up until that point?

Lothar ran his hands down Khadgar’s back, resting them on the mage’s ass. The way Khadgar kissed him was as if he was starving and Lothar was the first food he had seen in months, they were demanding kisses, hungry, and Lothar knew his own kisses were just as demanding. He felt Khadgar’s hands pulling at his shirt and allowed the mage to remove the garment.

“Please,” Khadgar begged, rocking briefly against Lothar’s crotch.

Lothar didn’t have to be asked twice. He moved swiftly, turning them so that they had been in similar position to what they had been before they’d talked, except this time Khadgar was facing him and not the ground. Lothar smiled down at the young mage, moving down the younger man’s body to pull his pants down once more. “Take off your shirts,” he said in a husky voice, moving down to pull Khadgar’s boots off.

Khadgar nodded absently, leaning up to take his shirts off. This was new to him. He’d never been fully naked with Lothar before, hell most times they both still had their pants mostly all the way on. A flush of embarrassment colored his cheeks, what if Lothar didn’t find him attractive, he wondered.

Lothar looked up Khadgar’s body, after he had pulled the mages pants off, leaving him bare from the waist down. He could see the blush on his mage’s face, wondering what had put it there. They’d been together plenty of times, and Lothar knew that Khadgar had never been self-conscious when he’d taken other lovers. So what was it about being with him that had Khadgar blushing?

Khadgar licked his lips as he saw the questioning look on Lothar’s face. “I just… I want… dammit… I want you to find me attractive,” Khadgar blurted out the words, the blush growing even darker.

Lothar nodded, more to himself than to Khadgar, “And why wouldn’t I? Khadgar, you’re gorgeous. If either of us had reason to be concerned over being unattractive it’s me. I mean look at me, I’m covered in scars, I’m nothing to...” but whatever else he was going to say was cut off by Khadgar grabbing him and kissing him.

When the kiss ended Khadgar spoke, “You are perfect. Everything about you is… perfect. I want to lick every single one of your scars, map your body with my tongue, my fingers, my lips. I want to _worship_ you.”

“Fuck,” Lothar whispered, and now it was his turn to not be able to breathe. He could tell Khadgar meant every single word he said. “When we get back to the city you can do that.”

Khadgar nodded, licking his lips hungrily. “Please,” he asked once more, arching up against Lothar.

Lothar smiled, did Khadgar even know how distracting he was when he licked his lips like that? He nuzzled the side of Khadgar’s neck as he positioned himself between the mage’s wide spread legs. It was different, Lothar thought, taking Khadgar like this, but he found he was enjoying it even more so. This way he got to see the complete and utter look of pleasure on Khadgar’s face as he entered the younger man. How had he gone this long without seeing that look? The times he’d seen Khadgar engaging in his other trysts he’d never seen that look on his face. That thought, though, made Lothar pause. “No more,” he whispered, “no more girls, no more guys for me, either. I can’t share you if...”

Khadgar nodded, he understood what Lothar was saying, “But then again, we can’t just save this for nights then.”

Lothar laughed, happiness swelling within him. “If I can have you any time we both need this, then of course I’m not going to want to wait until night.”

Khadgar decided that they had talked enough on that subject and wrapped his legs around Lothar’s hips, locking his heels together on the older man’s ass, pulling him closer. “Move, Anduin,” he commanded.

The tone that Khadgar used went straight to Lothar’s cock and he began to move, not the rough, impersonal way he’d do this before, when he was trying to keep this as a purely physical thing, but faster nevertheless, wanting to make Khadgar feel good. “Demanding little mage, aren’t you?”

“Asshole,” Khadgar said, yet there was no anger in his voice. He moaned in pleasure, his face transforming into a mask of unadulterated ecstasy as Lothar made love to him. Had this been what he had been missing all this time, this level of connection that he had tried so desperately to find with all of his random trysts? “Never knew,” he whispered, his voice full of awe and almost broken sounding.

Lothar could see the play of emotions on his lover’s face, and it touched him in a way that was almost overpowering. “This is how it’s supposed to be,” Lothar breathed. He kissed Khadgar once more, loving the way his mage’s hands tangled into his hair. How had they both gone so long without this?

Far too soon for Khadgar’s liking he felt the telltale signal that his orgasm was fast approaching. He barely got a chance to warn Lothar before he came, harder than he could ever remember doing so before in his entire life.

Lothar almost wept when he saw the look of undisguised ecstasy come over Khadgar’s face. Once more he berated himself for never questioning their arrangement before. He’d missed out on this and so much more, and he would be damned if he’d miss out on anything like this ever again. He continued to move, knowing he was no where near close to coming himself, and knew from past times with Khadgar that the young mage could come at least two or three times before he himself reached his climax.

Khadgar let sensation wash over him, holding onto Lothar tightly as his lover made love to him. He knew that was what this was, it wasn’t the almost mindless, purely physical encounters he’d gotten so accustomed to, this was something deeper. “Anduin,” he moaned, his voice rough, “so good. Light, how did… how did I go so long not… oh fuck… not having this?”

Lothar knew that the question didn’t really need an answer, and yet he couldn’t help but respond, “Because we’re both idiots?”

Khadgar laughed, the sound so joyous and happy, a sound neither of them had ever heard before. “Light, can’t believe we wasted so much time.”

Lothar nodded at those words, looking deeply into Khadgar’s eyes, “Never again. Not gonna waste another second. Need you.”

Khadgar didn’t reply in words, but simply kissed Lothar. Already he was hard again, painfully hard, so close to coming once more it made his head spin.

Lothar saw Khadgar’s eyes flash with something he’d never seen before, something that was pure lust, something that Lothar didn’t have words for. He could feel how tense Khadgar had become, could tell by the labored way the mage was breathing that he was close again, and this time Lothar knew he’d be following Khadgar soon after with his own climax.

Khadgar screamed out in pleasure as his orgasm ripped from him, head thrown back as he shouted Lothar’s name.

Hearing his name on Khadgar’s lips, feeling his lover’s body tighten around him sent Lothar over the edge. He moaned the mage’s name, allowing himself after all this time to finally say that name out loud when he came.

When their breathing returned to normal and Lothar pulled out of Khadgar’s body he collapsed onto the blankets, pulling the mage against his chest. He knew there would be questions of them from the others in their party, while no one had ever said anything before about their sharing of a tent it was now quite obvious what they had been up to.

In the morning Lothar dealt with the questions he had known were coming, had ignored the smug knowing looks that had passed between Medivh and Llane, had ignored the way Garona held her hand out to Callan and how his son had handed her a small bundle of coins, he ignored the little “I knew it” looks some of his men gave them, he ignored it all. He was happy, for the first time in a very long time he was completely and utterly happy.

Khadgar eventually asked Callan about the exchange of coins he had done with Garona, and then had blushed when he learned that the two of them had had a running bet on just how long it would be before Lothar jumped Khadgar’s bones. Though when Khadgar informed them that last night hadn’t been the first time they’d been together, that it had been going on since before Garona had joined their little group, Medivh had swooped in, smirking at his daughter and took the bag of coins from her.

Lothar had shaken his head at his friends antics, coming up behind Khadgar and for the first time wrapping his arms around him in public. Khadgar had allowed the embrace, ignoring the joking “Do I have to call him Dad now too?” from Callan, smiling as he let himself just be held by the man who had stolen his heart.

They packed up their gear and began their trek back towards Stormwind. And for the first time in two years Khadgar found himself not looking for some distraction when they stopped in a small village on the way back. Lothar for his part felt glad, felt a calmness come over him that he had lacked for far too long. There was still a war to be fought, and yet somehow everything seemed good and right.


End file.
